Raising the White Flag

Do you ever have those moments where all of sudden God convicts your heart, and then you're left wondering why it took you so long realize it? 

I had one of those moments this morning... 

I've been stressing and feeling overwhelmed by our calendar this fall, by my to-do list, and by the amount of unpacking still to be done in our home. I keep seeing the calendar get more and more full as the to-do list keeps growing, and I found myself getting more and more overwhelmed...which means a crabby Jenna. 

This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed and stressed before I even got out of bed, but while I was getting ready for the day and was thinking through all the things that needed to get done, God gently reminded me that I don't have to do it in my own strength. In fact, the reason why I was feeling so stressed was because that was exactly what I had been doing. I had been looking at the calendar, the to-do list, and everything else through the lenses of what I could do..not through the lens of what I could do by leaning on God. 

Pride strikes again. 

Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." 

I realized this morning that it has been my pride that's been keeping me from surrendering it all to Christ. Pride that says "I can do it on my own," and "I've got this, thanks anyway, God." Pride in how busy I could be, how I could fill MY schedule and so on.  
Even though I hadn't been consciously thinking those things, looking at the past few days, even weeks, I can see how my attitude shifted from trusting and relying on God for my strength and peace each day to leaning on myself because I seemed to be doing fine. 

Picture from google images

This morning it hit me. Conviction isn't fun, but praise God for it! And praise Him for His grace!

So today I'm choosing to surrender. I'm raising the white flag, and I'm letting go. 

I'm choosing to surrender the to-do list. 

To surrender the calendar. 

I'm praying that I'll view both things in light of what truly matters, and in light of eternity. I'm praying that I'll keep my eyes on Christ, and that I'll remember that the time I have been given is a gift--that it should be used wisely. I'm praying that I'll be a good steward of it, and that I'll remember that the time is God's before it is mine. 

Looking at the calendar and to-do list with a God-focused perspective, remembering that I've surrendered it to Him first and foremost, changes things.

Looking at it remembering that I am going forward leaning on Him for strength and looking to Him for peace changes things. 

Isaiah 26:3-4 says that the "Lord will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in the Lord. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the Rock eternal." (emphasis mine)

I want that perfect peace, and I want my mind to be steadfast, not given to anxiety and worry and stress. That verse clearly tells me how to have that peace and steadfastness: Trust in the Lord. 

So as I, Lord willing, continue to surrender the calendar and to-do list each day, my prayer is that not only will I be a good steward of the time God has given me, but that I will choose to trust fully in Him each day. 

I want a life well lived, a life lived for Christ, and a life lived loving others. To accomplish that, I need to raise the white flag. 

Today, and every day. 

"We raise our white flag
We surrender All to You

We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won

Here on this Holy ground
You made a way for peace
Laying your body down
You took our rightful place
This freedom song is marching on." 

--Chris Tomlin, White Flag