Resting in Him

As I sit here on the couch, under a warm, fuzzy blanket, glass of orange juice to my right and a box of Kleenex handy, I realized how impatient I am. 

And even more than that, I realized how much I struggle with being still. How much I struggle with resting.

This week I've been under the weather and I've had to lay low and rest. 

Rest. 

I love that word. Until I have to put it into practice. 

I know that rest is important; I know that being still is important. But for some reason I'm realizing (this week more than ever!) how much I struggle to actually rest, to actually be still. 

It's been incredibly hard for me to rest this week. My mind keeps reminding me of all the things I need to do, I feel bad for resting and then I feel guilty, my to-do list keeps getting longer, and as I do rest, I get restless and just want to stop resting.  (I'm such a great patient... HA. Bless my family and boyfriend who have put up with my impatience this week and have gently reminded me--again and again-- that it's okay to rest, and to take care of myself)

This week my body has demanded rest, and I know that if I want to be a good steward of the body God has given me, then rest is what I need to do right now. So why do I struggle with it so much? 

Today I've been thinking and praying about it, and it hit me this afternoon as God brought a verse to mind, only the first two words of the verse, but it was enough to make me start thinking.  "Be still..." I think this whole issue comes back to my heart. My heart hasn't been in the right place this week. 

How, you might ask? 

My heart has been in the wrong place in two ways, I think, leading to the difficulty I've had being able to rest: 1) I am not trusting in the Lord, and 2) I am not relying on God to be my strength. 

Let me explain my reasoning. I think that my inability to rest is in part an indicator that I am not trusting God with that area of my life. I have difficulty resting because I think of all the things that need to be done---that I need to get done. I have difficulty resting because I can't let go. My gaze is fixed on ME. What I need to do, MY to-do list, etc. Instead of placing those things in God's capable hands, I just hold on to them tighter. Along with that, when my gaze is fixed on ME, I am looking to myself for strength...I am trying to do everything on my own, in my own strength, in my own timing. Never a good plan. 

I can't rest unless my gaze is on God--I need to rest in HIM. 

I can't rest unless I place my worries, my to-do list, etc. into His hands--I need to trust that He has it under control (which He always does). 

I can't rest unless I choose to trust--I need to trust God and and trust that His plans are bigger and better than my own, and that He knows best, even in the little things.  

I can't rest unless I recognize that God is sufficient and sovereign--I need to trust in that, and trust in His goodness. 

This week my inability to rest well has shown me a lack of trust in the God who has everything under control. 

Yes, I am sick and not feeling well. 

Yes, it's no fun. 

Yes, it has messed up my plans. (Emphasis being on the word MY)

But has it messed up God's plans? No. 

Has it taken God by surprise? No. 

Is God still sovereign, still sufficient, still good? YES. 

I can choose to rest today, because I can trust our God--always. 

And maybe, just maybe, getting sick this week was God's way of reminding me of the importance of resting in HIM, and His way of telling me to slow down and be still before Him. 

Psalm 46:10 says 

   "Be still, and know that I am God;

    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth." 

BE STILL. 

And do what? Know that HE is God. 

I can rest today, because I know that He is God. 

And the best way to rest? By resting in Him. 

Psalm 62:5-6 says, 

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him. 

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; 

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." 

My soul finds rest in God alone. 

So today as I continue to rest, my perspective has changed. 

I can rest in God, rest in His sufficiency, rest in His sovereignty, rest in His grace, rest in His goodness, and trust that He has everything under control. 

I can be still, and give my body the rest it needs, because I know that He is God. 

I can rest in Him today, and every day, and He will never let me down. Praise God for His grace, His sovereignty, His sufficiency, and His desire for us to rest in Him, trust in Him, and be still before Him. 

"I am restless, I'm restless

'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You" ~Audrey Assad, "Restless"