Trust Without Borders

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders." 

That line is from a song, Oceans, by Hillsong United. It's one of my favorite lines, and at the beginning of 2014 I decided that it would be one of my goals/prayers for this year. (By the way, if you haven't heard it before, stop reading this and go listen to it!! I'll even give you the link to it on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QR2KGmL50k  The song is beautiful, the lyrics are wonderful and convicting and encouraging, and it's one of my favorite songs. Then come back and finish reading this. :) Seriously though, listen to it!) 

I had no idea that praying that would bring me to where I am now. When you ask God to stretch you and bring you outside of your comfort zone, which in essence is what that lyric is saying, He is going to answer that prayer! 

If you were to ask me what one of the biggest things God has been teaching me (and is still teaching me) over the past two years, my answer would be this: Trust.  

Trust is a big one. It's hard, and I don't think it comes very naturally. I know it doesn't come easily to me, at least. 

I honestly didn't really think much about the changes in my life that might happen once I started praying this prayer. I knew that I needed my trust to keep growing, and I still do... There will always be room for growth. I just knew that I wanted to start trusting more, and then I heard that line from Oceans and it really registered with me. 

So I made that line a goal for 2014, as well as a prayer. It's probably a good thing that I didn't know all the changes that would be coming, all the ups and downs, all the scary moments, and all the exciting times, otherwise maybe I wouldn't have been brave enough to start praying that. Because I'll be honest, I'm not a brave person. I fear, I worry, and I stress. I like things neat and orderly, but life definitely is not like that! Thankfully we serve a God who is greater than any circumstance, and Who is always in control. 

Since beginning to pray that prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to take me where my trust wouldn't have borders, He has done just that! I can truthfully say that at the beginning of the New Year I wouldn't have pictured myself where I'm at now. 

Trust Without Borders. I just love that phrase! It really resonates with me. I do trust God, but I think so often I trust Him in a small, minimal way. My trust has limitations, and it has an end. God is slowly and patiently teaching me to let go, and to let HIM lead me into a trust that has no borders. 

It's terrifying. It's exciting. It's confusing. It's rewarding. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Praying that prayer, and making it into a goal for myself, has changed my life. It's led me to say yes to a few things that terrified me (but that were definitely good for me!). Looking back, I can see now that it contributed to a huge decision/change in my life that I made (taking me to very new territory and a new season in my life). It's helping me to become less fearful and more courageous as the Spirit leads me to new things. 

I still have a hard time trusting, but I know that my God is trustworthy and He is GOOD. Because of that, I know that I can trust Him to lead me down a path that is for my good, not harm. (Read Psalm 23 if you ever doubt that God is leading you and taking care of you). I know that I still choose not to trust on a daily basis. It's a hard habit to break, it really is. However, I'm striving to keep learning and to keep choosing to walk in trust as I go through each day. 

Trust is a choice, and it is one that must be made day by day, moment by moment. I want to keep growing in my trust in the Lord, so that I say yes to whatever and wherever He leads.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders." That is my prayer! 

My question for you is this: Will you pray it as well? 

Graduation into the Unknown

Today I picked up my cap and gown for graduation from my community college in two weeks.

This just got real.

Truthfully, until today, I've been almost dreading graduation. It means an end to a season in my life, and it's a big change. It's also hard because I'll be graduating without a plan.

I am by nature a planner. I plan, and I plan, and I plan.

So it honestly terrifies me that I don't know what is coming next. It frustrates me that I don't have a plan, and that I can't seem to make one no matter how hard I try (emphasis on I).

All of these reasons brought together made me dread the graduation looming ahead of me.

Until today.

After I picked up my cap and gown, I was thinking about the past three years I've spent at this school. There have been so many ups and downs, so many changes in my life, so many times that I've seen God at work, so many ways that I've seen myself grow, and so many answers to prayer.

The past few months have been rough. A lot has changed in my life, and to be honest, if you had asked me a year or two ago where I would've seen myself now, where I'm at now probably wouldn't have been my answer.

God's ways are not our ways, that's for sure!

As I was thinking, though, I was reminded how faithful God has been. While maybe this wasn't how I thought my life would be going, and maybe this isn't how I had planned it,  as I look back over the past year or two, and especially as I look back over the past few months, I can see God at work, His hand guiding me to where I'm at now.

I know that He is in control. He has a plan, and it is a good one.

So while I'm still scared about whatever life holds for me after graduation, while I still don't have a plan, I know that my God does.

He knows what is coming next.

He has a plan.

And He's led me this far, teaching me and showing me that He is good and He is trustworthy. Why should I start doubting Him now?

Yes, I'm still scared. But I'm also getting excited. I'm excited to see what He has in store, excited to see where He guides me, and excited to see how He continues to work!

One of my (latest) song obsessions is a song by Anthem Lights called "The Unknown." It's been especially applicable to my life as I near graduation. My favorite part of the song says this:

"Don't you know that your right at home in the unknown
I'm already there, I'm already there
Don't you know that you're not alone in the unknown 
I'm already there, I'm already there

So you don't need to know 
What tomorrow holds 
When you know 
The one who holds tomorrow"

As I near graduation from community college into the unknown, I'm confident that my God is in control, that He has a plan, and that my future is in His able and loving hands. So why fear?