Be All There

I've known this quote for a while, but this summer it means so much more to me. A few months ago I wrote it out and put it up on my wall, but then I kind of forgot about it for a little while... A few days ago I was reminded of it again. 

Picture from google images 

"Wherever you are, be all there."

I'm at a place in life where I didn't think I'd be. The past year has changed a lot of things in my life, there've been a lot of sorrows and a lot of joys. If you had asked me a year ago where I'd be now/what I'd be doing, my answer probably wouldn't have been where God has me now.

This summer has been crazy, busy, tiring, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming. (But I have to add, it's also been fun, stretching, joyful, and exciting!) It's been easy at times to wish the summer away, wanting autumn to come and things to slow down. It's been easy to think that my life hasn't really started yet, that things will "fall into place" or really  "start" when I reach the next milestone, or when the next big thing comes along. It's been so easy to fall into the habit of wishing for the next stage in my life to come.

"Wherever you are, be all there."

The reason I love this quote, the reason why it resonates with me so much, is that it reminds me to slow down, to BE where God has placed me.

Because if I'm wishing for the next season in my life, if I'm just waiting for the next big thing, then I'm not living in and enjoying the gift of the season God has placed me in RIGHT NOW. I don't want to miss the things that God has in store for this season of my life, the things He wants me to learn and the ways He wants me to grow, just because I'm anxious for the next season.

I want to BE ALL THERE in the place that God has placed me. I want to be focused on Him, and on doing what He wants me to do, wherever He has me at the time being.

Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I think that this command, given by Jesus, also applies to this. We are commanded to not worry about tomorrow. If we are not worrying about tomorrow, then that means we are focused on the today, on where God has us now. We can't accomplish anything for His kingdom if we are constantly worrying about the future. {Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't plan, or be excited about the future, etc., but I think sometimes we can get too caught up in what is coming, instead of enjoying the present, enjoying the gift of today. Also, I am in no way saying that we shouldn't be looking ahead to Jesus' return, because that is one thing that we definitely SHOULD be looking ahead to with excitement and anticipation. (: }

I've noticed that I don't enjoy each day as much if I am constantly thinking about and worrying about the future, or what the next season will bring. However, if I stop wishing away today, I start noticing the blessings that God has placed in each day.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote, "The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances." 

If my attitude about today, about the season God has me in right NOW, isn't a good, God-honoring one, then what makes me think that it would be any better in a future season? The secret is Christ, not my circumstances. 

I choose to be all in, all there, today, in this season, right where God has placed me. Because He is good, He is faithful, and I trust in His Sovereignty and His plan. I want to live life for the Lord, live life to the fullest, and live a life enjoying the gift of each day. 

If I am not seeking God today, not making the most of today, not choosing joy TODAY, then I am wasting a gift that God has given me: the gift of today. 

"Wherever you are, be all there." 

Genealogy of Grace

Picture from google images. 

I've never given much thought to the genealogies in the Bible. I usually just skim over those verses when I come to them in Bible reading, to be honest.

Yesterday I started reading the devotional "Moments with the Savior" by Ken Gire, and go figure, the very first chapter is based on a genealogy! It focused on the genealogy of Jesus found in Matthew 1:1-16. This time I read it, instead of just skimming over it quickly like usual.

I LOVE the points/observations that Ken Gire makes in the devotional about this genealogy, things that I had never thought about before.

Jesus' genealogy--His family tree-- is filled with broken, imperfect people.

"The Savior would come from a royal line. That much everyone knew. The line would originate with Abraham and branch through David. Yet despite how sturdy its trunk and how spreading its limbs, the Savior's family tree had its share of blight and barrenness, of bent twigs and broken branches," (Gire, "Moments with the Savior" p. 19).

In Jesus' genealogy was Jacob, who stole his brother's birthright and tricked his own father.

In Jesus' genealogy was David, a murderer and an adulterer.

In Jesus' genealogy was Rahab, a prostitute.

The list goes on and on.

Some people might be confused or even angered by this... the lineage of the Savior filled with so much brokenness, so many mistakes. When I read this now, though, I see hope and I see grace.

Gire writes, "What are we to make of all the sin, all the imperfection, all the failure? Simply this. That God's purposes are not thwarted by our humanity, however weak and wayward it may be. That he works in us and through us and, more often than not, in spite of us. That he works with us, as a gardener works with his garden. Lifting. Pruning. Watering. Weeding. Whatever it takes to bring it to fruition. Or however long it takes. This is our hope," (Gire, "Moments with the Savior" p. 20).

I see hope when I read the genealogy of Christ in Matthew 1. And I see grace! God's purposes cannot be thwarted! He uses our weaknesses, our mistakes, for something good. When we surrender to Him and His will, He weaves it all, our past failures, our brokenness, into a beautiful tapestry--one that only HE could create. So take heart! God is the Gardener, and He's not done with you yet, no matter where you are in life. The lineage of Christ is a testament to that--to God's grace and to His ability work through the generations, no matter the failures, mistakes, or history.

Get Rid of Bitterness

Last week I was in a meeting at church, which started off with a devotional led by one of the pastors. I was excited for the meeting, and looking forward to the devotional. The pastor started off his short but meaningful devotional by reading Ephesians 4:31-32:  

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." 

Um, ouch... 

This was literally what I needed to hear, and it was SO applicable to my life that I actually started smiling when the pastor read it because I knew God was using it to speak directly to me in that moment... It was one of those, "Okay, I get it, God. You made your point," moments. It wasn't what I wanted to be reminded of, but I know it was necessary. Up to that point, I had been ignoring God's little reminders and nudges that I needed to let go and forgive...which was pretty easy to do because it was always between me and myself (conversations in my own head), if that makes sense. I could talk myself out of forgiving pretty easily. However, hearing that verse from Ephesians spoken out loud by someone else brought me to my senses, so to say. 

Get RID of all bitterness, rage, and anger. The Scripture is pretty clear... It doesn't leave any room for misunderstanding, as hard as we might try to make it appear less strict. Get RID of bitterness and anger. That is an imperative... a command! We are to get RID of bitterness and anger. 

These verses aren't saying to TRY to get rid of it, and they aren't saying to get rid of them halfway. It also isn't saying to squash those feelings down or ignore them. We are supposed to get rid of anger and bitterness completely! God doesn't want us to hold on to them, which to be honest is so easy to do. 

Up to that moment, I'll be completely honest, I had been holding on to anger, and even some bitterness. I kept telling myself that I was letting go and forgiving, but deep inside, I think I knew that I wasn't truly doing so. While I was letting go on the surface, I was hanging on tightly to the anger and the bitterness deep inside. I felt entitled to it, like I had a RIGHT to be angry. It was easy to rationalize it, thinking that I could allow myself to be angry just a little bit without it affecting my heart. 

WRONG. 

Oh so wrong. 

God tells us to get rid of anger and bitterness for a reason. They eat away at you, little by little, until they consume you. They lead to hatred. 

Oh, be careful little heart what you let in. 

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

In my mind, I had always connected guarding your heart with purity (as in, relationships, and the like), but I'm realizing how much more there is to guarding your heart! Guarding your heart doesn't just have to do with relationships, it also has to do with what YOU allow into your heart. As Christ followers, we are called to guard our hearts from things that are impure, things that are idolatrous, and things that are dangerous. 

Things like anger. 
Things like bitterness. 

When we are told to get rid of anger and bitterness, it's a matter of the heart. If we allow those things into our minds, into our lives, and into our hearts, we are putting ourselves in danger, and we are welcoming something that could potentially destroy us! 

Instead of bitterness and anger, we are called to forgiveness. And what a wonderful example we have in Christ! In my mind, He had every reason to be angry or bitter about the situations He faced and the rejections/hurts/insults/unfair treatment He received. Instead, He chose forgiveness. 

Last week in that meeting, I finally let go. I chose forgiveness over anger and bitterness. And honestly, it's been hard at times to not take the anger/bitterness back into my own hands, but I know that I'm so much better off choosing forgiveness and leaving the rest in God's able hands. 

Anger and bitterness will imprison you, consume you, and ultimately destroy you. 

So guard your heart. ("I keep a close watch on this heart of mine...")

Choose forgiveness, and be set free. 

Trust Without Borders

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders." 

That line is from a song, Oceans, by Hillsong United. It's one of my favorite lines, and at the beginning of 2014 I decided that it would be one of my goals/prayers for this year. (By the way, if you haven't heard it before, stop reading this and go listen to it!! I'll even give you the link to it on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QR2KGmL50k  The song is beautiful, the lyrics are wonderful and convicting and encouraging, and it's one of my favorite songs. Then come back and finish reading this. :) Seriously though, listen to it!) 

I had no idea that praying that would bring me to where I am now. When you ask God to stretch you and bring you outside of your comfort zone, which in essence is what that lyric is saying, He is going to answer that prayer! 

If you were to ask me what one of the biggest things God has been teaching me (and is still teaching me) over the past two years, my answer would be this: Trust.  

Trust is a big one. It's hard, and I don't think it comes very naturally. I know it doesn't come easily to me, at least. 

I honestly didn't really think much about the changes in my life that might happen once I started praying this prayer. I knew that I needed my trust to keep growing, and I still do... There will always be room for growth. I just knew that I wanted to start trusting more, and then I heard that line from Oceans and it really registered with me. 

So I made that line a goal for 2014, as well as a prayer. It's probably a good thing that I didn't know all the changes that would be coming, all the ups and downs, all the scary moments, and all the exciting times, otherwise maybe I wouldn't have been brave enough to start praying that. Because I'll be honest, I'm not a brave person. I fear, I worry, and I stress. I like things neat and orderly, but life definitely is not like that! Thankfully we serve a God who is greater than any circumstance, and Who is always in control. 

Since beginning to pray that prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to take me where my trust wouldn't have borders, He has done just that! I can truthfully say that at the beginning of the New Year I wouldn't have pictured myself where I'm at now. 

Trust Without Borders. I just love that phrase! It really resonates with me. I do trust God, but I think so often I trust Him in a small, minimal way. My trust has limitations, and it has an end. God is slowly and patiently teaching me to let go, and to let HIM lead me into a trust that has no borders. 

It's terrifying. It's exciting. It's confusing. It's rewarding. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Praying that prayer, and making it into a goal for myself, has changed my life. It's led me to say yes to a few things that terrified me (but that were definitely good for me!). Looking back, I can see now that it contributed to a huge decision/change in my life that I made (taking me to very new territory and a new season in my life). It's helping me to become less fearful and more courageous as the Spirit leads me to new things. 

I still have a hard time trusting, but I know that my God is trustworthy and He is GOOD. Because of that, I know that I can trust Him to lead me down a path that is for my good, not harm. (Read Psalm 23 if you ever doubt that God is leading you and taking care of you). I know that I still choose not to trust on a daily basis. It's a hard habit to break, it really is. However, I'm striving to keep learning and to keep choosing to walk in trust as I go through each day. 

Trust is a choice, and it is one that must be made day by day, moment by moment. I want to keep growing in my trust in the Lord, so that I say yes to whatever and wherever He leads.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders." That is my prayer! 

My question for you is this: Will you pray it as well? 

Graduation into the Unknown

Today I picked up my cap and gown for graduation from my community college in two weeks.

This just got real.

Truthfully, until today, I've been almost dreading graduation. It means an end to a season in my life, and it's a big change. It's also hard because I'll be graduating without a plan.

I am by nature a planner. I plan, and I plan, and I plan.

So it honestly terrifies me that I don't know what is coming next. It frustrates me that I don't have a plan, and that I can't seem to make one no matter how hard I try (emphasis on I).

All of these reasons brought together made me dread the graduation looming ahead of me.

Until today.

After I picked up my cap and gown, I was thinking about the past three years I've spent at this school. There have been so many ups and downs, so many changes in my life, so many times that I've seen God at work, so many ways that I've seen myself grow, and so many answers to prayer.

The past few months have been rough. A lot has changed in my life, and to be honest, if you had asked me a year or two ago where I would've seen myself now, where I'm at now probably wouldn't have been my answer.

God's ways are not our ways, that's for sure!

As I was thinking, though, I was reminded how faithful God has been. While maybe this wasn't how I thought my life would be going, and maybe this isn't how I had planned it,  as I look back over the past year or two, and especially as I look back over the past few months, I can see God at work, His hand guiding me to where I'm at now.

I know that He is in control. He has a plan, and it is a good one.

So while I'm still scared about whatever life holds for me after graduation, while I still don't have a plan, I know that my God does.

He knows what is coming next.

He has a plan.

And He's led me this far, teaching me and showing me that He is good and He is trustworthy. Why should I start doubting Him now?

Yes, I'm still scared. But I'm also getting excited. I'm excited to see what He has in store, excited to see where He guides me, and excited to see how He continues to work!

One of my (latest) song obsessions is a song by Anthem Lights called "The Unknown." It's been especially applicable to my life as I near graduation. My favorite part of the song says this:

"Don't you know that your right at home in the unknown
I'm already there, I'm already there
Don't you know that you're not alone in the unknown 
I'm already there, I'm already there

So you don't need to know 
What tomorrow holds 
When you know 
The one who holds tomorrow"

As I near graduation from community college into the unknown, I'm confident that my God is in control, that He has a plan, and that my future is in His able and loving hands. So why fear? 

Live Like You Were Dying

I'm re-reading a series by Karen Kingsbury right now. One character in this series is diagnosed, very suddenly, with an aggressive form of brain cancer. She literally only has a few months to live, and those months are filled with pain, sickness, and the continuing decline of her body. However, as the end draws near for her time on this earth, she is filled with peace and excitement as she looks forward to seeing Jesus. This part of this fictional series is hard to read, to be honest. As I was reading it this time, though, something different stuck out to me. As this woman was in her final days here, she was at peace. She had loved the Lord, and she had loved other people, through her last moments. She didn't have many regrets; she had lived fully during the days she was given. 

I was convicted by this, because I feel like so often I go through life as if I have all the time in the world... When in reality, I don't. I only have however much time God has granted me, and since I don't know how many days and years that is, I want to strive to live each day to the fullest. I want to make the most of each day and each opportunity that God gives me. Two verses in Psalms come to mind:

Psalm 39:4-5 “Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure." 

This life is a vapor, just a quick sojourn in the long journey of eternity.  I want my life to count, to not be wasted. I want what I do with my time here to echo in eternity, because I lived for The Lord instead of for myself. I want to make the most of each gift, each day, that I receive from the Father, knowing that it is just that: a gift. I want to live fully in the gift of TODAY, rejoicing and giving thanks in it. I want to live and love today, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow. 

As I was thinking about this, a song by Tim McGraw came to mind. It's called "Live Like You Were Dyin'."  It's a song about a man who receives a terminal diagnosis from his doctor, and in the face of that, someone asks him what he did. His reply? 

"He said I was finally the husband, 

That most the time I wasn't.

And I became a friend a friend would like to have.

And all the sudden goin' fishing, 

Wasn't such an imposition.

And I went three times that year I lost my dad.

Well I finally read the good book,

And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do

If I could do it all again.

I went sky divin', 

I went rocky mountain climbin', 

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.

And I loved deeper, 

And I spoke sweeter, 

And I gave forgiveness I've been denying, 

And he said someday I hope you get the chance,

To live like you were dyin'.   -Tim McGraw

The question that has been on my mind: What would our lives (my life) look like if we lived each day as if it was our last? If we stopped taking each day for granted, recognizing that it is a gift and could be our last? 

What if you lived each day as if you were dying? 

Would you tell the people in your life that you love them? 

Would you forgive the ones who've hurt you? 

Would you let go of bitterness you've been hanging on to?  

Would you stop letting unimportant things clutter your time? 

Would you live joyously, gratefully? 

Would you share the love and message of Christ unashamedly? 

God Will Provide

I just finished the book Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper. It was a thought-provoking book, giving me a lot to contemplate and pray about. One part of the book that caught my attention was Piper’s discussion of our material needs as Christians, and whether or not God really supplies all our needs.

Piper says that as Christ followers we are called to take risks. He even says that our “obedience is risk.” (Pg. 92) He lists some of the risks we might face as Christ followers (pg. 92-93):

“tribulation” Acts 14:22

“distress” 2 Corinthians 6:4, 12;10

“persecution” Matthew 5:11-12

“danger” 2 Corinthians 11:26

“sword” Acts 12:2

“famine and nakedness”

Piper then goes on to discuss the last risk, of famine and nakedness, claiming that they are the greatest problem. It’s the biggest problem because it boils down to the question: Will God really provide for all my needs?

Jesus says in Matthew 6:25, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”  Then just a few verses later in Matthew 6:31-33, Jesus says “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

These verses make it clear that we do not need to worry about our material needs; God will provide. However, this seems contradictory when compared to the list above of risks that Christ followers might face. Piper poses the question: “Well, which is it? Are Christians subject to ‘famine and nakedness’ or will God provide ‘all these things’ when we need them?” (Pg. 93) Thinking about the believers in the New Testament, we see that many of them were beaten, stripped, and starving. Was God not able to provide for them, or was He choosing not to?

This made me stop and think for a little bit, because it does seem like a huge contradiction. However, Piper’s next section helped to bring clarity. He explains that the statement “all these things” in Matthew 6 means, “that you will have everything you need to do his will and be eternally and supremely happy in him,” (Pg. 94).

Everything you need to do HIS will. Everything you need to be happy IN HIM.

Boom! Understanding finally dawned on me, as I began to grasp this passage in a new way. What I consider “necessary” might not really be a true need for me. God will provide what I need to be able to do His will. Piper writes, “How much food or clothing are necessary? Necessary for what? we must ask. Necessary to be comfortable? No, Jesus did not promise comfort. Necessary to avoid shame? No, Jesus called us to bear shame for his name with joy. Necessary to stay alive? No, he did not promise to spare us death—of any kind…. God does not promise enough food for comfort or life—he promises enough so that you can trust him and do his will.” (Pg. 94)

Maybe this is something that God taught you a long time ago, but to me, right now, this is something new that God is teaching me. It's so convicting, and yet so exciting! It’s convicting to me because it’s a call to focus on HIM and not on the material things that are oh so tempting and eye-catching in this life. It’s convicting to me because it’s a good reminder to not worry and stress about the material things. But, it’s also exciting to me! It’s exciting because I think that if you can begin to grasp this, it will free you. Free you from worrying about the material things, free you from worrying and wondering if God will or will not provide. It’s exciting because it reminds me that God does provide, maybe not in the fashion or capacity that we might think we need, but He is our Provider. 

It brought to mind the song "Enough" by Chris Tomlin, which says:

“All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough.”

Our God is sovereign and He is all-knowing, so He will provide what we really need to do His will, and to find true happiness in the only place it can be found: in Him.